DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
