Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
