Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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