nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
