Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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