I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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