Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
