Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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