sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
