Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
