my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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