Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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