So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
