guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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