Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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