Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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