Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
