Ambien. No doubt about it.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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