so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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