apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize