Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
