You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
