escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
farters have to be the big spoon...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
