You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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