high people should be assigned attendants
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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