did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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