Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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