So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
