this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize