names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
