Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
