The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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