Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
