I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
