I'm lost and stupid without you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
