READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How does one acquire holy water?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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