In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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