So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
