She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
