Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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