yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
