That's when you crack a 10am beer
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
