The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
