Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize