Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
