Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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