Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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