he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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