Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
