You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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