get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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