It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
