dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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