Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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