Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
