this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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