I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
