do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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