Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
