My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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