Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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