Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
