I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
