I puked a lego.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
